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;
andone;strangelyandsadly;heghostofherself
thenutesby
“enoharineatlast
thehalfhourquitespent
“ioingtogetdinnerready;”saidry;risingfrobr 》
hertable
“thenillgo;”saidkatharine
“youstaywhereareyougoing”
katharinelookedroundtheroonveyingheruncertainty
inherglance
“perhapsightfindhi”shesed
“butatteryoullseehinotherday”
ryspoke;andintendedtospeak;cruellyenough
“iehere;”katharinereplied
theireyest;andneitherflinched
“youhadaperfearyanswered
aloudknory
enoteorparcel;
katharinelookedaightnotreadher
disappointnt
“ofurseyouhadarighttoe;”ryrepeated;
layingthenoteuponthetable
“no;”saidkatharine“exceptthate
onehasasortofrightiaesperatehowdoi
knonoaydoanything
heyay
happentohi”
shespokeentthatryhadnever
seeninher
“youknoe;youretalkingnonsense;”
shesaidroughly
“ry;isttalkisttellyou”
“youneednttellanything;”ryinterruptedher
“yself”
388
virginiawoolf
“no;no;”katharineexclaid“itsnotthat”
herlook;passingbeyondry;beyondthevergeofthe
roondoutbeyondanyeherway;wildly
andpassionately;nvincedrythatshe;atanyrate;
uldnotfollooitsendshewasbaffled;
shetriedtothinkherselfbackagainintotheheightof
herloveforralphpressingherfingersuponhereyelids;
sherred:
“youforgetthatilovedhiooithoughtikne
ididkno”
andyet;eer
itanyreshepressedhereyeballsuntiltheystruck
starsandsunsintoherdarknessshenvincedherself
thatsheongashesshedesistedshewas
astonishedatherdisveryshedidnotloveralphany
reshelookedba;andhereyes
resteduponthetableplitpapersthesteady
radianceseedforasendtohaveitsunterpart
andlooked
atthelaagain;anotherlovebutintheplaceofthe
oldone;orso;inantaryglanazent;she
guessedbeforetherevelationheoldsurroundings
assertedtheelvessheleantinsilenceagainst
thentelpiece
“therearedifferenturred;half
toherself;atlength
katharinedenoreplyandseedunawareofher
edabsorbedinherohoughts
“perhapshesinginthestreetagaintonight;”she
ex”
“itsfarrelikelythathellehere;”saidry;
andkatharine;aftesideringforant;said:
“illanotherhalfhour”
shesankdooherchairagain;andtookupthe
sapositionparedtotheposition
ofonechinganunseeingfacesheched;indeed;
notaface;butaprocession;notofpeople;butoflife
itself:thegoodandbad;theaning;thepast;the
present;andthefutureallthisseedapparenttoher;
andsheedofherextravagancesochas
exaltedtooneofthepinnaclesofexistence;
behovedtheagenoonebutshe
389
nightandday
herselfkneeanttossralphdenhan
thatparticulaight;intothisinadequateeventcrowded
feelingsthatthegreatighthavefailedto
issedhiandknehebitteess
ofallfailure;shedesiredhiandkneentof
allpassionitdidnotttertrivialaccidentsledto
thisculnationnordidshecarehoravagantshe
appeared;norhowopenlysheshowedherfeelings
hedinnere;and
sheents
forhertheyateanddranktogetheralstin
silence;andore;sheate
re;oldtodrink
nevertheless;beneaththissuperfiary
knehatshehoughtsunhindered
sheuchasrete;she
lookedatone
visionofheroorethanprotective
shebecaactuallyalardattheprospectof
sollisionbetharineandtheforcesofthe
outsidelytheyhaddone;katharinean
nouncedherintentionofgoing
“butaryasked;desiring
vaguelytohinderher
“oh;ioinghono;tohighgateperhaps”
rysahatitotrytostopherall
sheulddoingtoo;butshet
edindifferenttoher
presenceinafeinutestheyhe
strandtheyarywasdeluded
intothebeliefthatkatharineknehereshewasgoing
sheherselfovent
alonglalitstreetsintheopenairshewasfingering;
painfullyandhfear;yethstrangehope;
too;thedisverybleduponunexp
………………………………
第127节
ectedly
thatnightsheoreatthest
ofagift;thebest;perhaps;thatsheuldoffer;butshe
pted
tospendthefirstinstalntofherfreedonsodissipation;
inthepitoftheliseuforexale;since
theyhedoorgoinandcelebrate
herindependenceofthetyrannyofloveor;per
390
virginiawoolf
haps;thetopofanoibusboundforsoreteplace
suchascaerhewelshharpwould
suitherbettershenoticedthesenaspaintedonlittle
boardsforthefirsttiforu
toherrooandspendthenightthedetails
ofaveryenlightenedandingeniousscheofallpossibilities
thisappealedtoherst;andbroughttond
thefire;thelalight;thesteadygloed
litintheplaehadonce
but
noaryothefactthat
insteadofhavingagoalshehadevidentlynoneshe
pausedattheedgeofthecrossing;andlookedthisway
andthat;andfinallydeasifinthedirectionof
haverstockhill
“lookherearycried;catching
herbythehand“usttakethate”
shehailedacabandinsistedthatkatharineshouldgetin;
tocheynewalk
katharinesubtted“veryayas
hereasanywhereelse”
aglooeedtohavefallenonhershelaybackin
herer;silentandapparentlyexhaustedry;inspite
ofheroion;ruckbyherpallorand
herattitudeofdejection
“iure;”shesaidregentlythan
shehadyetspoken
“itybetoolate;”katharinerepliedhoutunderstanding
her;rybegantopityherforshewas
suffering
“nonsense;”shesaid;takingherhandandrubbingit
“iftheresowhere
else”
“butsupposehesthestreetsforhours
andhours”
sheleantforofthewindow
“heyrefuseevertospeaktoagain;”shesaidin
aloosttoherself
theexaggerationnsethatrydidnot
attettopehit;savebykeepingholdof
katharinesight
openthedoorsuddenlyandjuoutperhapskatharine
391
nightandday
perceivedthepurposehhherhandwasheld
“dontbefrightened;”shesaid;
notgoingtojuoutofthecabituch
goodafterall”
uponthis;ryostentatiouslyhdrewherhand
“ioughttohaveapolo