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;butthishechecked
instantlynogoodhadeveretohiroatharine;
hisadeupof
dreandashethoughtofthelittlesubstancethere
214
virginiawoolf
hadbeeninhi
………………………………
第70节
sdreahebegantolaytheblaofthe
presents
“haventialhinkingofkatharinewhilei
ighthavelovedryifithadntbeen
forthatidioinesheeonce;iertain
ofthat;butitotedhersoyhursthat
iletchancesslip;andnoarrying
andthisisadeoflifenothing;nothing;
nothing”
thetraoftheirbootsuponthedryroadseedto
asseveratenothing;nothing;nothingrythoughtthat
thissilencehesilenceofrelief;hisdepressionshe
ascribedtothefactthathehadseenkatharineandparted
froer;leavingherinthepanyofrodney
sheuldnotblahiorlovingkatharine;butthat;
arryhibr 》
thatseedtoherthecruellesttreacherytheiroldfriendship
anditsfiraseuponindestructiblequalitiesof
charactercruled;andheredfoolish;
herselferelytheshellof
anhonestnoh;thepastsochdeupofralph;
andnoadeupofsothingstrangeand
falseandotherthanshehadthoughtitshetriedto
recaptureasayingshehaddetohelpherselfthat
ing;asralphpaidthebillforluncheon;butshe
uldseehiayingthebillrevividlythansheuld
reerthephrasesothingabouttruth;
hooseethetruthisourgreatchanceinthisworld
“ifyoudontarry;”ralphnowbeganagain;
houtabruptness;hdiffidencerather;“thereisno
needoseeeachother;isthereor
herthatforthe
present”
“keepapartidontknoustthinkaboutit”
“tellohing;ry;”heresud;“haveidone
anythingtokeyouindabout”
shenselytetedtogiveoheatural
trustinhirevivedbythedeepandnoelancholy
tonesofhisvoiofherlove;andof
edlikelythat
she;thecertainty
thathedidnotloveher;nfirdbyeverywordofhis
215
nightandday
proposal;forbadeanyfreedofspee
speakandtofeelherselfunabletoreply;ostrained
inherreplies;e
orepliantanwould
havetakenthischanceofanexplanation;everrisks
attaarysfidresolute
teerantthereionintheideaofself
abandonnt;lettheotionriseeversohigh;
sheuldnotshuthereyestoshenceivedtobe
thetruthhersilencepuzzledralphhesearchedhis
ryforighthavedeher
thinkbadlyofhiinhispresentodinstancesca
buttooquithisculnating
proofofhisbasenessthathehadaskedhertorry
hiaproposalwereselfish
andhalfhearted
“youneedntansly“therearereasons
enough;iknousttheykillourfriendship;
ryletkeepthat;atleast”
“oh;”shethoughttoherself;hasuddenrushof
anguishhreateneddisastertoherselfrespect;
“ithasetothistothisouldhavegiven
hiverything”
“yes;ness
sheuldster
“ishallyourfriendship;”hesaidheadded;“if
youfinditpossible;letseeyouasoftenasyoucan
theoftenerthebetterishallyourhelp”
sheprosedthis;andtheylyof
thingsthathadnoreferencetotheirfeelingsatalkh;
initsnstraint;
onerereferenceadetothestateofthings
betlatethatnight;hhadgone
toherrooandthetenhadstuledoffto
bedinsuchastateofsleepthattheyhardlyfeltthefloor
beneaththeirfeetafteradaysshooting
rydretlenearertothefire;forthe
logseofnightitwas
hardlyralphwasreading;
butshehadnotietithathiseyesinstead
offolloheprintherabovethepage
thatcatoweighuponher
216
virginiawoolf
ndshehadnottogive
adeherrebitterlycertain
that;ifshegaveoherownwish
andnottohisbutshehaddeteedthattherewasno
reasonicencehe
causeofhissufferingtherefore;althoughshefoundit
painful;shespoke:
“youaskedifihadchangedndaboutyou;
ralph;”shesaid“ithinktheresonlyohingwhen
youaskedtorryyou;idontthinkyouantit
thatdeangryforthentbefore;youdalways
spokenthetruth”
ralphsbooksliddohe
floorherestedhisforeheadonhishandandlookedinto
thefireheryingtorecalltheexacth
hehaddehisproposaltory
“ineversaidilovedyou;”hesaidatlast
sheforsayinghe
did;forthis;afterall;entofthetruthh
shehadvooliveby
“andtorriageh
while;”shesaid
“notgoingtopressyou;”hesaid“isee
youdontarrybutlovedontalka
greatdealofnonsenseaboutiteani
believeioregenuinelythanninenout
oftencarefortheentheyreinlovehitsonlya
storyonekesupinonesndaboutanotherperson;
andoneknoeitisnttrueofurseone
knoakingcarenottodestroythe
illusionoakestoooften;orto
bealonefortoolongtogetheritsapleasant
illusion;butifyourethinkingoftherisksofrriage;it
seetothattheriskofrryingapersonyourein
loveethinglossal”
“idontbelieveaoreyou
dont;either;”sherepliedhanger“ho
agree;ionlyedyoutounderstand”sheshiftedher
position;asifshetogoaninstinctivedesire
topreventherfroeavingtherooaderalphriseat
thispointandbeginpacingupanddopty
kitchen;checkinghisdesire;eachtihereachedthe
217
nightandday
door;toopenitandstepoutintothegardenaralist
………………………………
第71节
ghthavesaidthatatthispointhisndshouldhave
beenfullofselfreproachforthesufferinghehadcaused
onthentrary;heelyangry;hthenfused
iotentangerofoneselfunreasonably
butefficientlyfrustratedherappedbythe
illogianlifetheobstaclesinthewayofhis
desireseedtohiurelyartificial;andyetheuld
seenoovingtheryshetoneof
hervoiceeven;angeredhiforshe
shebledddleofaworld
pedesthesensiblelifeheo
slahedoororbreakthehindlegsofachair;forthe
obstacleshadtakensosuchcuriouslysubstantialshape
inhisnd
“idoubtthatonehunbeingeverunderstandsanother;”
hesaid;stoppinginhisrchandnfronting
ryatadistanceofafe
“suchdaedliarsaswe
e;dont;butthe
positionyoutakeupaboutlove;andnotseeingeach
otherisntthatresentintalityyouthinkive
behavedverybadly;”hentinued;asshedidnotspeak
“ofurseibehavebadly;butyoucantjudgepeopleby
easuringright
andhafootrulethatsyourealways
doing;ry;t