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absorbingtrainofthought;“hofeelings
isntitbetteottotalksoch;nottobeworryingalways
aboutsllthingsthatdontreallytter”
“thatsthequestionprecisely;”heexclaid“ionly
ethattheydonttterthereare
tisindifferenttoeverythingiain;
iveathousandfaults;butyouknoheyrenoteverything;
youknoareforyou”
“andifisaythatie”
“sayit;katharinesayitasifyouantitke
feelthatyoue”
sheuldnotforceherselftospeakaher
aroundtheandthehorizonted
outbyisttoaskherforpassionorforcertainty
seedlikeaskingthatdaprospectforfiercebladesof
fire;orthefadedskyfortheintensebluevaultofjune
heonnootellherofhisloveforher;inwords
poftruth;
butnoneofthistouchedher;until;ingtoagate
y;heheaveditopenhhisshoulder;
stilltalkingandtakingnoacuntofhiseffortthe
virilityofthisdeediressedher;andyet;norlly;she
attachednovaluetothepoesthe
strengthofscleshasnothingtodoonthefaceofit
hthestrengthofaffections;nevertheless;shefelta
suddennceforthispooeonher
acunt;binedhadesiretokeeppossession
ofthatstrangelyattractivesculinepoade
herrouseherselffroertorpor
plytellhihetruthh
inastystateofnd
hinghaditsrightshapeorsizethatitwas
deplorable;butthatarriagewas
outofthequestionshedidnotarryanyone
shee
bleaknortheor;andtherestudytheticsand
thesytywordswouldexplain
207
nightandday
thehehadceasedtospeak;he
hadtoldheroncerehowhelovedherandwhyshe
suonedherurage;fixedhereyesuponalightning
splinteredashtree;and;alstasifshewerereadinga
ingfixedtothetrunk;began:
“iake
youhappyihaveneverlovedyou”
“katharine”heprotested
“no;never;”sherepeatedobstinately“notrightlydont
yousee;ididntknoiwasdoing”
“youlovesooneelse”hecuthershort
“absolutelynoone”
“henry”hedended
“henryishouldhavethought;;evenyou”
“thereissoone;”hepersisted“therehasbeena
changeinthelastfeetobe
honest;katharine”
“ifiuld;iwould;”shereplied
“eyouarry;then”he
dended
ontofpessisasuddenn
victionoftheundeniableproseoflife;alapseofthe
illusionidweenheaven
andearth;adesperateattettorencileherselfh
faont;asof
adreaedtoherantofsurrender
buthesefordoing
shehaddonesheshookherheadverysad
………………………………
第68节
ly
“butyourenotaoods;”
rodneypersisted“youuldnthaveacceptedifyou
hadntloved”hecried
asenseofheroisbehavior;hshehadsucceeded
inkeepingfroerbysharpeninghesciousness
ofrodneysfaults;noost
overedherparisonh
thefactthathecaredforheruesin
parison
inaflashthenviost
sinofallstaeditselfuponherinstthought;and
shefeltherselfbrandedforever
hehadtakenherarandheldherhandfiryinhis;
norhadshetheforcetoresistedtoher
208
virginiawoolf
hisenoruslysuperiorstrengthverywell;shewould
subt;ashertherandherauntandsten;
perhaps;hadsubtted;andyetsheknehatevery
sendofsuchsubssiontohisstrengthond
oftrea
“ididsayiarryyou;butitwaswrong;”she
forasifto
annuleventheseengsubssionofthatseparatepart
ofher;“foridontloveyou;;youvenoticedit;
everyonesnoticedit;ending
oldyouilovedyou;ii
kneobeuntrue”
asnoneofheredtoheratalladequateto
represent;andehasized
theght
haveuponanpletely
takenabackbyfindingheraruddenlydropped;then
shesaoststrangelyntorted;washelaughing;
itflashedaontshesaw
thatheentatthisapparition
shestoodaghastforasendhadesperate
sensethatthishorrorst;atallsts;bestopped;she
thenputherarabouthidreont
uponhershoulder;andledhin;rringwordsof
nsolation;untilheheavedagreatsightheyheldfast
toeachother;hertears;too;randoheeks;and
hquitesilentnoticingthedifficultyhh
heeextrelassitudeinher
obs;sheproposedthattheyshouldrestforant
hebrackenh
anoaktreeheassentedoncerehegavea
greatsigh;andhachildlikeunnsciousness;
andbegantospeakhoutatraceofhis
previousangertheideacatoherthattheywerelike
thechildreninthefairytaleinawood;
andindshenoticedthescatteringof
deadleavesallroundthee
oheaps;afootorthere
“ofeelthis;katharine”hesaid;
“foritisnttruetosaythatyouvealit
ihefirstnighthat
yourclotheshadbeenleftbehindstill;hefault
209
nightandday
inthatiuldproseyounevertointerferehyour
itiairs
hhenryperhapsishotooopenlybut
thatsnotunreasonableeitherwhenonesengagedask
yourtherandnohisterriblething”hebrokeoff;
unableforthenttoproceedanyfurther“thisdecision
yousayyouveetohaveyoudiscussedit
other;forexale;orhenry”
“no;no;ofursenot;”shesaid;stirringtheleavesh
herhand“butyoudontunderstand;”
“helptounderstandyou”
“youdontunderstand;ian;realfeelings;how
uldyouiveonlynoselfbutihavent
gotthesortoffeelinglove;ianidontkno
tocallit”shelookedvaguelytohehorizonsunk
underst”but;anyhoarriagewould
beafarce”
“hothiskindofanalysisis
disastrous”heexclaid
“ishouldhavedoneitbefore;”shesaidglooly
“youkeyourselfthinkthingsyoudontthink;”he
ntinued;beingdenstrativehhishands;as
hisnnere;katharine;beforee
herelyhappyyouwerefullofplansfor
ourhousetheeerlike
anyotheranarriednow;foo
reasonever;youbegintofretaboutyourfeeling
andaboutfeeling;htheusualresultiassureyou;
katharine;ivebeenthroughitallselfatoii
yselfabsurdquestionse
tonothingeitheryouaysayso;is
sooccupationtotakeyououtofyourselfhis
rbidodesonifithadntbeenforpoetry;i
assureyou;ishouldoftenhavebeenverychinthe
sastateselftoletyouintoasecret;”hentinued;
ost
assured;“iveoftengonehofroeeingyouinsucha
stateofnervesthatihadtoforceselftoeapage
ortyheadaskdenha
helltellyouhoetonenight;hell