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hesheepandherarcticich
thesunkingafulllengthhaloofitsefur
shegaspedshehadntfinishedthearcticigod”she
hadntfinishedthequailorthedeerorthegreategret；
either
”ogod”theloonstheloons；sittingonthatrroredsurfaceofa
lakeatdusk；htheislandinthecenterandtheskylitbythe
auroraborealisjackhaddohisnooneelseuldhavehehad
doneitforhersobeautifully；soheautfullyheghtaswellhave
putheronapedestalanddrapedthatplainstonepillarh
variationsofthesoftest；richest；stexquisitevelvet
thereetheycahardandfast
alonghhuge；ouchedandlonelyandneedy
andingandafraid；soafraidthatthosepaintingswereasgoodas
itgo
………………………………
第98节
t
saroundhis
neckandclung”dontcry；angel；”hebegged；”pleasedontcryi
onlyyoutobehappy”sheedtosaythathehaddone
orehappythanshewouldever；everbe
againsheissedthedaysheypainted
togetherandthatsheedtodoitagainsheedtosayshe
lovedhionlysheuldntstopcrying
shehadnevercriedlikethisshehadnevercaredlikethis
shefelthisararoundher；feltvent；andthenextthingshe
kneheytingonthefloorhecradledherclose；absorbing
thespasofherhasoftrocking
thenhebegantospeakhisheads
protective；hisvoicebeseechingbutloudenoughtocarryoverher
sobs
”iteifihadnteinhereandseenthe
bobcatsben；sayingthatthecanvaswashis
alltifavorite；andireeredhotogetherhe
didntknohat；soheknoagain；andiwas
to；rachel；totallytoyougotthissho
becauseofthebobcatsbutbecauseofthewholebodyofyourwork
thatalent；yourperseverancei
havedoneathingifyoudshoyoudidnt
thelongeritoreuldgoon；
andthenistartedthinkingthatifyoudidnthere
beanothershoedyoutohaveatleastone；rachelifigured
youdoohardandtoolongnotto”heheldherheadtohis
ursshewashangingon
everyword
”ihereinthehospital；”hesaid”italkedto
youandhelpedveyou；butyoubackto
bigsuratnightethingusefuliuldntstandthe
sightofoaterialsudio；
ing；soidecidedtotryone；justone”shefelttheswellofhis
chestreverenceout
againstherhair
”itpaintedlikethatinyearsihavent
beenlostinanythinglikethatinyearsifeltrealive；re
talented；repurposeful
”soivebeendreang；”hesaid”knoof”sheshookher
headunderhishand；againsthischest；alltooas
anding；ingsobadly
”ofusdoingreofthisidonteroleinityoukeep
thenaillstilldesign；butsllerthingsagain；housesfor
peopleileatandloveivedoneihadthatinthe
beginning；butitsbeengoneforsolongthatibarelyreerit
eer；youdontssuntilsothinghappenstojog
yourrythatssittingatyourbedsidedid；rachel；jogged
ryireeredthingsabouthingsaboutus；
thingsthatybeididnteerbecausetheyweresogood；
andtheyeantsheknehe
ant
”idontregretgoingintoarchitectureigreoney；and
architecturegavethat；butihaveenoughofitnowivehad
enoughofitforyearsneversahat；boyyoualalkedabout
prioritiesandneessedup；butsittingatyourbedsidefixed
that；toosoitodesignhousesandpaintyourbackgroundsi
toliveinbigsurandbehthegirls；andiustotalk；
racheloldhabitstakeover；butifonce；an
doitagainiarried”rachel
startedcryingagain；butite；frohe
heart；notthegutt
hertearshisneck；butsheheldontightly；heldonuntilshe
neededakiss
hisuthvedonhers；reinforcingeverythinghehadsaid；takingher
toplaanylonga；rearsshefelthis
hungerandtastedhisneed；hitall；he
kissandfradherfacehhishands”ineverstoppedlovingyou；
”heinhiseyesbutthe
lighthadbeenthereoneout；”she
accusedinanasalvoice
”iattered”hethrew
backanaccusation”youwalkedaway”
”iyselffrohesourceofthe
pain”
”ididntknoethattii
shouldhaveeiorryyoulostthebabyitwouldhavebeen
sothing”
”yes”shehaduedthatchilditwouldhavebeen
sothing
”didyoureallyleavethefir”ididdoyouthink””i
thinkitsgooddavidbroughtouttheinyou”
”heyhave
doyoundthatifinishedyourpictures””ilovethatyoufinished
picturesshjill””overikneherewasno
future
shben””nothingnothingnothing”
”ilikeyourfriends”
”theylikeyoullyoudohyourhouse””sellitould
buysothingbigger；butiliketheplaceyouhave”
”reallyareyousureyourenotjustsayingthat””reallyibr 》
sureiotjustsayingthat”
”infiveyears”sheasked；knoshe
antithereinhiseyes；hhislove
”ivebeenalonefiveyears；tenyears；tyyearslivinghyou
inthathouseissochrethaniingbefore”
hisvoicebrokehiseyesoist
raouthedandsaiditagainin
akisshereliefshefelt
andhuggedhersthatshook
frooeanedgy”wolfelike
this”no；rachelfigured；heshealsofiguredhehadknown
allalongthatsothingissinginherlifeshesuspectedthat
inhisookno
again
theend
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