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said；nothingterriblethatyousaid；nothingterribleyou
hadstochpainsybetheflu；yousaid”helookedat
katherine
”sheiscarrying”katherinenodded
hedehielfreerre”shee
ho；butshesaidsheeforfourdays
notoncedidshentionababy”hefeltshakyinside；evenvurruru
uellnorylozclosetotears”thenthereripsinclose
sequence”andanultitueforethelastoneherecalledbeing
annoyedthatsheseedtobeininpaingoodlordshehad
ured；
beforeangerkilledthetears”e””she
uldnt”
”shelostababyididntkno；thenleftbecauseihadnt
sohoout”herinelookedreluctanttospeak；he
eon；katherinetalktotell
shesaid”
”shesaiditiscarriageithingaboutyour
relationshipthescarriageheclinchershesaasa
signthattherriagework”
”christ；”hesaidandpushedhishandsthroughhishair”
shetellafter””eroarrange
toseethegirls；nottoaskaboutheothingthathappenedafter
suggestedshewaswrong
sheyourinterestinher”
”
”hefeltanoveringsadness”ahhh；rachel；”hebreathe；
liftingherhandtohise”
”adeadifference”katherineasked
hefelttoohollourred
”ybe”heher
daughter
theyhadtalkedabouthavingrechildren；buttheirfinanceswere
stretchedhthen；oncehopeofdiapers；they
enjoyedthefreedo
ifhehadknoighthavetalkedshe
theonlyoneoreifhehad
knoehofrohattrip
atleast；rightnohatsoundedliketherightthingtodoback
then；heplacehecess；so
involvedhitandhhiswork
”foritsh；”katherinesaid；”shethebaby
eyouforthe
scarriage；onlyfootbeingfortandsupport
happened”
”yeah”hesighed”hatshedid”sonowheknew
hadactuallycausedthatfinalbreaknotthatithelpedhe
stillfeltabandonedrejectedalonebabyoobaby；shehadgone
offandbegunanewlife
thinkingaboutthatneadehihinkaboutherfriendshiph
katherine”yousaidyoutheratthegynelogistsofficein
carl””yes”
”didshehaveretroubleaftersheleftthecity
””noshe；gettingtoknoal
doctortotalkingthereantrapportohingled
toanotherhenlunch；thenffeeshewasvery
supportive”hehoughtitheotherwayaround”she
ive”katherinepaledshegaveaquicklittletipofher
head；adisssalthatdisssednothing
”or”heasked
heuldseehedthensheglanced
backatthedoooonehereshelookeddorachelafter
anotheute；sheretuedtojack”ihadjustbeendiagnosedh
………………………………
第49节
breastcancer”hiseyestolook
atherchest
”bad”shesputteredoutalaugh”thatslikebeingalittle
pregnantversusalotpregnant”
”youknoean”
”ido
andno；itph
nodeseicrospic；tinyinsitu
dulivingproofoftheracleofearly
detection
ifihadnthadaograideitherbedealingpright
noookatinybreath”thathegoodnehe
badnehatihadtinylittlegrainsofitinbothbreasts”
shedeagesturethatedbeheadinghaditbeen
eightine；becausenotoncend
hehadseenkatherinenuroustisinthelastweek；wearing
differentoutfits；includingsersthatclungotoncehadhe
thoughtherbodyhingbutthatofanattractive；shapely
fortysothingfele
sheouthisopen”
iknosjust蘒dontsee”renstruction”
”ah”hebarrassed”goodasnew”
”froheoutside；”shesaid；andhthosethreewords；her
defensivenessrealizeditilthen
butyes；shehadbeensofter；veryhun
”iniveofyou”heasked
katherinestudiedrainutebeforenoddingslowly”shewas
therefor；theproverbialphonecallaethrough
nyaroughspot”
”like””likedeastectolike
choosingasurgeonandaplasticsurgeon；andtryingtodecideh
thodofrenstructionlikedealinghtheknowledge
thatuntilthesurgeryphnodesestedinthe
pathlab；ididntknoherthecancerhadspread
likeuchlessthedisease
”theerofheruthtched”arentyougladyouasked”he
herhavehadaclue
”racheleefore；during；andafter；”she
said
”youhavenofalynearby”shefoldedheraroverthoseperfectly
naturallookingbreasts
”havenohadyesiarriedatthetihusbandhada
squeashstoch”ahhhhshedhadahusbandthessing
piecendapparentlyahugeone”hethereatall””well；he
oer”roywasagolfprowe
vedherefroiaajobofferheuldntrefusehe
rantouantsataclubinpebblebeachthatsbigstuff
hedidnthavethetitositindoctorsofficesholdinghiswifes
hand”shetippedherhead；stillillbitter”iuldve
livedean；itense
tinsung
youdsitinaldcubicleinathinpapergoinutes
foroneoftheteafdoctorstoappear；andforinute
etingandtheeyourethinkingthatthisisthebeginning
oftheendandyoudontaprettyposedperson；
buttherees；ing；oasandstarted
shakingandthoughtthatifididntgetoutofthatdaedcubiclein
thenextnuteidgostarkravingd”jackwouldhaveguessed
thatkatherineevanshadeoutofthebposedshewas
posedeventhenutonlyontheoutsidehesahatnowhereyes
andhervoicenveyedanxietyaplenty
shedretakeit；andididntpushit
ehavingtodealhhisnervesontopof
oinilinvolventonhis
parthedoctors；thepreoptests；thesurgery；thedrains；the
folloentsraetosootherfriendsdrove
toothers
ieoffathouse”
”andthen””thenroytreatedlikeik
swallowed
”heespace；hesaidhedidnttoriskrollingover
andhittinginbed；sohesleptinthespareroohesit
toopwehada
hugebathrooejacuzziandshoable；
androoospareutihaditalltoselfhesaidhedidnt
feelingselfnsetogetusedtothe
nee”hertoneockeryallthere
poent
”ireveredfrohesurgeryithanihadexpectedthey
donttellyouthehalfbutigraduallygainedstrengthandfelt
betteritoldselfidbeengivenagiftoflifeibackto
yar”hedidntfollow
”phnodesefrohe
arit；sotherescuttingandintealscarringthathe
hardestpartsoftherevery；anotherthingnooneeabout
butieoneelseattheti；clientswereloyal；
andiyselfithebest
thingiuldhavedonethosefirstfeeeksifadedbynoonand
eybay
arusclesachedfroightingthescarring；butbefore
long；ihadfullrangeoftion”shestoppedlookingatjack；she
waswrynesspersonified
treatingherhcarenoious”then””roy
u